Nothing serious…

November 5, 2007

…but wow, the phonics reader books that come home with my sons…painful my friends, inane and ridiculous as they try to tell some kind of story that makes a modicum of sense…and with twins, it’s twice the books and twice the hilarity.

But I think that this past week’s reading begs some very important questions:

  • Why did Peg put the wig on the log where Pup and Kit could devour it? And why was the wig wet? For that matter, why did Peg need a wig in the first place? Her hair looked fine to me — blond and cropped and cute, and the wig was very Elvira, Mistress of the Dark…what does Peg do in her spare time anyway?
  • What was Tab smoking before he took the nap about the cab? Where did the ram come from? And why it did he look so menacing?
  • Why did Jan take pup on the bus in the bag when that was clearly against the city’s transportation laws? And no wonder the man got mad when the pup ate his cone. Dammit, we all like our ice cream, and the pup was way out of line. Jan too. Kick her butt off the bus, I say.
  • Cop Cat scares me. Why is his hat so big? How can he see to catch criminals?
  • Since when do seeds talk? And Weed was really snotty to Rose — ha, ha loser — you never had a bud (the flower kind, I hasten to add). Bug was right about you all along! I shouldn’t have been taken in by your smooth talk.
  • Why did Sam’s mom let the pig in his room? Couldn’t she see that this would bring nothing but mess?

If anyone can answer any of these important questions for me, please let me know. I’m plagued with curiosity. Plagued, I tell you.

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2 Responses to “Nothing serious…”

  1. Liz said

    wow…..the books have come a long way from when i was in school and i think every story was about dick and jane……….i think the boys name was dick……….most likely changed his name for good reasons. i wanted to ask you if you would like or need people to hang out with you at the hospital the day of your dad’s operation or even just stop by to pray and let you emotionally vomit…….i would really like to do that if it is alright with you.

  2. Evelyn said

    And now you know one of the 2 major weaknesses of the “phonics only” method. Oh, well, all the methods have weaknesses–choose your poison.

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