June 19, 2007

I feel somewhat like the Bible’s Jacob: wrestling with God, knowing it’s always better if He wins, but wanting my own way, even if it’s to my ultimate destruction.

Details are hard to talk about, but I’m dealing with areas of self-control (smoking and eating) and facing problems head on (pervasive marital junk). Neither is an area that provides me much enjoyment, but I know that my enjoyment is not a pre-requisite for God’s working. Thankfully, neither is my weakness. Because truth? I pretty much stink at controlling my life. Oh, I like to pretend that I’m good at it, but the reality is that you don’t have to look too hard to figure out that I’m pretty unqualified for the job.

Hindsight always offers much better perspective, and I’ve done this God Thing long enough to know that whenever I surrender my junk to God, I’m always glad. Always more free. Always calmer.

I love Beth Moore’s Praying God’s Word book. She puts God’s Word into prayers that we can use in the trenches of our lives.

Father, Your Word says that a person who lacks self-control is like a city whose walls are broken down. Sometimes I feel like there is so much rubble, I can’t rebuild the wall. Your Word claims that You are Repairer of Broken Walls, an the Restorer of Streets with Dwellings. Please introduce Yourself to me by these wonderful names and rebuild the rubble in my life.

Lord, You have said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

Lord, You will refresh the weary and the faint.

So I’m off to walk out my life. Thankfully not alone.

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3 Responses to “”

  1. Psalm 119 is great like that, too.

  2. Erica said

    Why is it SO FREAKIN’ HARD to surrender our crap when we know from such experience that we will be so blessed when we do?

    OY with the humanity!
    I’m totally with you on this one.

  3. Liz said

    WOW did I need to read what you shared with the prayer and the scripture AND it really helped knowing that I am not the only one dealing with issues! I was telling someone this week that it felt like I am sliding down a ravine yet can see the other side and the good on the other side. I could really relate to in that prayer of “…there is so much rubble I can’t rebuild the wall…” yet I know that God can and does rebuild and restore.

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