Here’s the deal…

May 15, 2007

God and I had this talk. About how I feel like my prayers have been bouncing off my bedroom ceiling and landing smack in my face. About how dwelling on others’ much worse suffering is doing absolutely nil for me in terms of feeling more hopeful about Tim’s job situation. And about how I’m fundamentally a loser when it comes to keeping my mouth shut and being nice and need so much forgiveness that He must be getting sick and tired of me by now. Tim and I had prayed together earlier (wow — a novel idea, huh?), and then God, or rather I, started this conversation in the car. Tim had alluded to the fact that people in our lives — the McCollum children in particular — are praying that this job situation finds good resolution, in town resolution mind you, by the end of the week. Tim prayed for that too, and said to me that it would be a cool thing for the kids to see God come through that way in answer to specific prayer.

And I thought, “Hmmmm.”

I’ve been praying, rather hopelessly, for the past few days. Columbus opportunities have been disappearing fast and furiously. And I’ve been pretty mad at God. And for His part, He’s been pretty silent. But today in the car I said to Him: “Look, I’m going to pray specifically too. And I’m going to have faith that You want to answer specific prayers. I am going to choose to believe that the small patch of grace on which I am sitting — the patch that allows me to pick up my kids from school and get them to their various activities, the patch that allows me to actually say encouraging, funny things to my dear husband — this grace is because of You and because the prayers of others are propping us up right now. And I’m going to immerse myself in Amanda Anderson’s “Grace Like Rain” from the Central Vineyard CD, because every time I do that, I remember that You are good. You are good. You want good for us. You know us inside-out, know how screwed up we are, yet you want to gift us with good. You’re a Dad like that. So, God, despite my feelings, which are not an especially good guide, I choose to believe that you will answer specifically…oh, and I’m sorry I’ve been more that a tad snarky lately. Amen.”

So I go in the school and get a call from Tim. Another local opportunity has cropped up — he is going to strategize with the consultant working at the local company, and the woman from his consulting firm has lunch with the decision maker tomorrow. So this is good. This is something I was praying for SPECIFICALLY. Hmmm.

Now I’m no magical thinker. I don’t think my one prayer compelled God; nor is the situation resolved by any stretch. I’m not purporting some “name it and claim it” philosophy. But I’m saying…yes, I will stand in faith, despite my feelings, that God is sovereign. It’s about more than whether these particular circumstances work out — I have to stand in faith, regardless. But yeah, that would be awesome

So those of you out in internet-land — please, please PRAY specifically. And thank you more than I can say for the prayers you have been praying while we have been at such a loss. I will stand by the truth that God wants to answer specific prayers.


4 Responses to “Here’s the deal…”

  1. bethkoruna said

    Thanks, friends.

    WordPress has been spamming my own comments. Is that a metaphor or what?

  2. erica said

    Father God,
    Please strengthen Beth’s faith and help her to feel your shepherding through this valley of the shadow of death. And God, please get Tim exactly the job you want for him. Please, Father, give him a job here in town so he can be a strong husband and father for his family. Please give it to him QUICKLY, as in, by the end of this week.
    In Jesus,

  3. Amanda said


    please let this local job be the one you opened up specifically for Tim Koruna. And let this be the opportunity that allows him to stay in town with his family and friends. we all want this so much! please God!

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