Bringing Sucky Back

April 28, 2007

Okay, first off, I must confess that at first I had trouble understanding the meaning of the title of Justin Timberlake’s “Sexy Back.” (Remember: being Cookie Mom positively siphoned off IQ points.) I kept wondering, “What makes his back so sexy anyway?”

But now I have discovered a new talent in life: to make many many things suck for my children. Even though they’re not allowed to use the word. Yes, I’m a hypocrite, so mark another box in the Sucky column for me.

As examples:

  • I failed to get the message off my phone about a birthday party for the boys. They missed it completely.
  • I nearly forgot the day of a birthday party that Abby is attending. I lost the invitation. And then? Five minutes before Tim was to take her to the party, I remember, “Oh, presents are something of a tradition at parties, aren’t they?” Luckily, I overbuy for Christmas and birthdays and actually had (pretty cool, I think) presents stashed in the storage closet in the basement. So maybe this counts as only half-sucky.
  • Rob’s click clack shirt WASN’T DRY WHAT WERE YOU THINKING WOMAN before Thursday’s ultimately rained-out soccer game. Hey, it got wet anyway, right?
  • I have forgotten to order dance pictures of my children, and if I’m ever going to hope to blackmail my sons with pictures of them in sparkly gold bow ties, suspenders and tap shoes (for “Singing in the Rain” I kid you not), this is a golden (pun intended, of course) opportunity. MUST.NOT.LET.THIS.SLIP.THROUGH.MY.FINGERS…
  • In preparing a lesson for children’s church, my daughter interrupts me and I shout, “WhatdoyawantNOW? Can’t you leave me in peace? I’m studying the BIBLE.” Yes, my heart for the little ones always shines through.
  • I almost never remember to practice my son’s speech sheets with him from speech therapy. Consequently, the poor child will be trundled to speech therapy well into his twenties.
  • I made Dan go to a play with his grandparents (the horror, the horror) instead of watching all 4,345,854 hours of the NFL draft.
  • I forgot to give my aforementioned son a bath after a very muddy soccer game before going to said play with his grandparents.
  • I am persistent in maintaining that my children must wear shoes to school. And other places too.
  • I sometimes serve food and like them to come to the table to partake (call Children’s Services NOW).
  • I am always the parent sans camera at all the monumental events in my children’s lives. When they grow up, they will have no memory of all the hugely time-consuming and expensive things we did for them.

And oh, the list could go on. Who am I kidding? Sucky was here all along.

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5 Responses to “Bringing Sucky Back”

  1. Wow–this is so damn funny. Can I put the link up on my blog and send my people over to see it? Didn’t mean to copy your site name…I guess great minds think alike. Keep up the writing. You have a gift!

  2. Beth Koruna said

    Or maybe I copied your site name? 😀 Sorry if I did that — I agree about great minds. I’d be honored if you linked to me. Thanks for the compliments. Can I also link to you?

  3. Sheila said

    Well if “brining sucky back” means a throw-back to not-so-perfect non-child-centered living– I’m most definitely “brining sucky back”… Loved the piece.

  4. bethkoruna said

    Yeah, my kids certainly don’t live in a perfect child-centered home! 😀 As I often say to each of them at various whining life moments, “This is part of being in a family.” Needless to say, my kids will all grow up to be single. Other than grandchildren (whom I deserve, DESERVE, I say), I can live with that. I figure they’ll be in therapy for one thing or another that we mess up! But that’s cool.

    Thanks for reading, Sheila!

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