Okay, here’s a thought…
March 27, 2007
I can’t help but think that my whole parenting life would be better if I had someone to whom I could mutter the near constant stream of snarky comments in my head.
This morning Dan whined at me, “Whyyyyyyy did you lay out shorts for meeeeee? It’s freeeeeezing.”
I said: “Because you have dance class. And it’s supposed to get up to 80 degrees today.”
I thought: “Because I’m a sadist, Dan. Don’t you know that by now?”
Another adult would have laughed at that, I hope.
Being a mom is all about repressing these kinds of words (and maybe if you’re better than me, these kinds of thoughts too).
Rob says, “Why does ABBY get to bring her lunch to school? I want to bring MY lunch to school.”
I reply: “You’re in kindergarten this year and go half a day. Next year you can bring your lunch.”
I think: “Because we like her better of course.”
One more. Dan says, “Why do we have to go to dance class AGAIN?”
I say: “Because the recital is coming up and you need to learn your steps. You’ve made a commitment to this and you have to follow through.
But I think: “Because it’s always been Daddy’s dream for you to grow up to be a ballerina.”
I’m a sick, sad little person.
Blurbs from the Burbs 
oh man these made me laugh! i dare you to say those things. of course, it would only make them MORE mad! but boy would it be funny.
Actually, since he’s a boy, the correct term is “Ballerino.”
I actually DO say these sorts of things to my kids. Does that make me a bad parent?
Don’t worry John, there’s therapy for people like you. And I won’t tell Children’s Services if you don’t.
ummmmm, So it’s BAD to say things like that out loud to your kids? Huh.
and,
“Because it’s always been Daddy’s dream for you to grow up to be a ballerina.”
I seriously spit coffee all over my computer. Damn you when you’re funny and I’m drinking coffee. Stop that!
Ok, ok I admit it. I DO sometimes say these things to my kids. But they don’t usually get the humor. It’s why I need a sidekick. Yeah. I really need a sidekick.