Unpopular Adcovate

March 7, 2007

What is on my mind, in my heart — well, it’s not exactly great fodder for blogging in many respects. (But does that stop her? Well, no.)

I have been experiencing a situation that has required me to be more of an advocate for my child than ever before. Of course we’re always advocates for our kids to one degree or another, but lately I have been forced into situations where my advocacy must be more public — with doctors, teachers and the like. As I have mentioned in previous posts, I have had many an uphill battle with our insurance company in the last weeks; added to that, I have been on the phone — to the point where I’m beginning to think that it’s an actual extension of my ear — with so many people. And most of the time? It’s a battle. A battle to be understood and acknowledged and respected for what I know and am learning about my child. This may be news to some, but lots of people aren’t very nice and/or very competent. Lots of people make difficult situations more difficult than they need be. And I have had to stand up and fight back in some instances lately. I despise conflict and I want everyone to like me all the time (that’s healthy — right?), but when it comes to advocacy for one’s child — well, being universally liked seems pretty damn unimportant.

To be fair, I have stumbled upon a few truly wonderful folks too — people who are willing to partner with me and educate me and be educated themselves.

But wow. I admire parents who buck the various bureaucracies in place and demand that their child’s needs be taken seriously. I remember the movie, Lorenzo’s Oil, which Tim and I saw many many years ago. It tells the true story of a boy that has a rare and deadly disease and the medical community that can’t treat it. So the boy’s parents basically educate themselves and discover something of a cure. Thank God we’re not dealing with anything so serious in our family, but this whole experience has made me think and re-think just how much we love our kids and just how much we’ll endure for their good. And how as parents, sometimes we have to doggedly advocate in the face of those that don’t understand and be willing to be misunderstood and unpopular.

In short, we’ve decided to change pediatricians. It’s been tough and painful and it won’t be entirely popular with my kids, but we believe it’s the best decision for our family. I’m not trying to be cryptic in this post, just trying to keep private stuff unrelated to myself (’cause heaven knows, I have no privacy boundaries!) private for the sake of others. But we’d appreciate your prayers. God’s pretty filled in on the details — He’s smart like that.

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5 Responses to “Unpopular Adcovate”

  1. kjames said

    wow. that’s hard stuff. you know, it seems that kids are such a major force of change in this world and they don’t even know it. i’ve never seen someone get more active, more involved, than when something was affecting their KID. it’s hard, but good stuff often comes of it. so hang in there and keep fighting. and let’s go out for dinner (thai?) again soon. i miss you.

  2. Beth Koruna said

    LOVE the idea of Thai for dinner because I miss you too. What’s your next week look like? I can’t Monday and you have hg Tuesday. Wednesday or Thursday?

    I’ll fill you in on details when we get together.

    Love you.

  3. kjames said

    not sure if wordpress will acknowledge me or not… so let’s do this via email.
    i’m busy next week on wednesday (and randy has karate on thursday)… so let’s plan for the week after or whatever. i’ll email you. 🙂

  4. kate whitman said

    Unfortunately, the medical profession is not very open minded. It sounds like you’ve run into some brick walls. On behalf of the medical profession, I’m sorry. Unfortunately, the insurance industry is worse. Rigidity rules. I am always ready to shoot myself after dealing with insurance companies. I truly pity the poor soul who is uneducated, has mental illness, or who doesn’t have the strength to be their own best advocate when it comes to insurance companies.
    I’ll pray for strength, and a sense of humor to laugh at the anything remotely funny to get you through.
    Kate

  5. Beth Koruna said

    Thanks Kate. And YOU don’t have to apologize on behalf of the medical profession…I too pity people who can’t advocate for themselves or their children. I think a lot of people get taken advantage of A LOT of the time, sadly. Strength and humor! You’re right on about that.

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