Cookie Update (or I don’t do fanny packs)

January 18, 2007

I come here again to give you the latest up-to-date information on my ongoing quest to not completely screw up my role as Cookie Mom for Abby’s Girl Scout Troop…

Attended a meeting last night for us Cookie Moms (they call us “Managers” — I prefer “Queen” or maybe “Czar” but whatever). Gotta love a meeting where 5 actual minutes of information manages to be disseminated in an hour. This meeting concerned “Booth Sales” — you know when you walk out of Kroger and there’s some adorable little girls set up at a card table with their Cookies and you think to yourself, “My gosh, I love me some Thin Mints and some Do-Si-Dos and that little girl down the street never came over to ask me if I wanted to order — note to self: Must.Control.Pit.Bull.” So you amble over to the table, proffer your three bucks a box and walk away a happier person with plans to scarf some trans-fat free (see — I’m always advertising, always spinning) Girl Scout Cookies.

Bet you thought that the Troop Leaders (see — I’m gettin’ good as capitalizing too) just decided one day, “Hey, let’s set up a table outside Wall Mart and see how it goes.” Ah, but you forgot about Council. Council must be aware of when and where Cookies are being thrust upon the public. And so, the meeting.

Let me make a weather guarantee: The date February 24 or 25 — one of two days that will probably contain our Booth SALE (sorry, went a little crazy on the CAPS button) — will contain blizzard-like snow, sub-zero temperatures and butt-cold-wind-chill, the rest of this warmer than usual winter notwithstanding. If you can even see us through the white-out, our little Troop will be probably be outside a local Westerville establishment holding on to our card table for dear life. For the love of all that is good and holy, come buy some Cookies.

A couple of important tips received from the Meeting: We should watch out for counterfeit money, because apparently more and more Girl Scouts are victimized every year by this scourge (who knew?). I think I’ll send Abby up to the burly, bearded guy in the plaid flannel shirt, the steel-toed boots and the prison numbers tattooed on his hand who purchased himself some of the sugar free Little Brownies: “Um, excuse me…sir? I believe that your twenty dollar bill is a fake, and as a Brownie Girl Scout, I am honor-bound to make a citizen’s arrest.” Also, we should not keep the cash box open and available with a little sign above it that says, “Steal Me.” A most serious recommendation, nay an assumption, was made that the Mom-in-Charge would have a fanny pack in which to place the money, thereby making it less likely to be stolen (because really, who wants to mess with an item with the word “fanny” in the title?)

I turned to our Troop Leader and muttered, “I don’t do fanny packs.”

She knows me by now and knows that despite my irreverence there are a few sacrosanct aspects as to who I am.

“We can keep the cash box under the table,” she assured me.

And so it continues…more updates forthcoming.


6 Responses to “Cookie Update (or I don’t do fanny packs)”

  1. Deneen said

    Beth, Beth, Beth.

    As opposed to fanny packs as I know you are (and who could blame ya), I wouldn’t worry. When the blizzard you predict hits during your Booth Sale (and you know it will), it will indeed be so “butt cold” when you’re selling, that nobody will be able to see the tell-tale bulge of said fanny-pack under your three coats. Any, anyway, with the wind blowing your hair in your face, and the snot freezing on the end of your nose, nobody will recognize you anyway . No worries.

    And, besides, how else to truly enjoy the bliss of toasted cheeks (yay for the new van) than to start out butt cold?

  2. kjames said

    oh come on, i know you own a fanny pack.

  3. Deneen said

    Me, or Beth? ‘Cause, yeah, I do. I own 2 actually. One was my grandma’s, so its an *heirloom* fanny pack, and I’ll take no shit about that one. The other one, however…

  4. bethkoruna said

    An heriloom fanny pack? I won’t even ask. I’ll just respect that. πŸ˜€

    And no, Karen, I don’t own a fanny pack — I thought I’d borrow yours! πŸ˜€

  5. kjames said

    geez, i was talking to beth but OMG now i know you own a fanny pack! there is no such thing as an heirloom f.p. unless it is from the 1930’s or older.

    i’m sorry i missed your birthday, beth. i just had the BEST idea of what i could get you!

  6. bethkoruna said

    This is having trouble posting my comments for some reason!

    I was going to say, you can always get it for me now — thereby extending the celebration of my birthday! I love me some presents! πŸ˜€

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