December 12, 2006

Oh the forms, oh the forms, oh the forms, forms, forms, forms…

Apparently, my new-found ability to capitalize Cookie is going to get me exactly nowhere.

Let me preface everything by saying that people I met tonight were very friendly. Very kind. Very knowledgeable and willing to share that knowledge.

I filled out my volunteer responsibility form — this is like gold. I cannot pick up, distribute or even think about Cookies without this form. Must.Not.Lose.This.Form…

When I picked up my troop’s Ginormous Packet, I joked to the gentleman handing them out, “I hope I’m responsible enough to handle all this.”

A long yawning pause while he took my measure. “Well, I hope so,” he replied. Note to self: do not joke about one’s own fitness as Cookie Mom.

After that rather inauspicious start, the bombarding with information began. Why use 1 form when 3 will do? Truly, there are no fewer than 4 forms to track everything. But the T-2 is all. This is the form of all forms. It has many layers to be turned in at different times, places I fill out and places that “Council” (which is always spoken of in somewhat reverent, if frustrated tones. Apparently, one does not want to deal with “Council” more than one has to. But I did find out that they have their own collection agency, so attention you slackers who said you would pay for your Cookies: Council knows. Council will collect.) fills out. According to the Cookie handbook, my van can hold 100 cases of Cookies — a fact that Dodge should certainly note to its customers as a selling point.

Banking procedures? I’ll get back to you when I’ve further steeped myself in the Cookie handbook. It’s all horribly, horribly confusing to me right now. Note to Council: Online Banking. Really.

The bottom line: I must really really love my daughter (as must all those other parents!) to do this much work in an area far outside my comfort zone. This Cookie sale begins in January, so buy some Cookies from my girl and for heaven’s sake pay your money or I have to fill out yet another form. Work with me here, people.

Oh no, now what did I do with the volunteer responsibility form? Hmmmmm..


5 Responses to “Update”

  1. kjames said

    omg. seriously beth, were you high when you said yes to this? if you get through this alive, with all cookies in order, i will take you out and buy you a drink. you’ll need it. πŸ˜€

  2. AndyWhitman said

    Well, I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this. But since you’ve already been introduced to the concept of The Council, I thought it would be helpful to provide some background information.

    The Council is a shadowy cabal of sinister scouting bureaucrats who wield Great Power and Extraordinary Menace. They can banish you from scouting forever. Hell, they can kill you and never even leave a trace of your identity. It is as if you will have never existed, and even Abby will be brainwashed into thinking that she never had a mom, let alone one who was hornswoggled into selling cookies. It’s that bad. The Council is comprised of deposed dictators of Central American countries, master spies, former CIA operatives, and disgruntled troop leaders. You do NOT want to appear before The Council.

    Usually Volunteer Moms have to commit some sort of egregious error — stealing money, inability to quote the price of a box of Golden Yangles, that sort of thing — before the idea of The Council is even raised. The fact that it came up in only your second encounter with other Cookie Moms is not a good thing. For your own safety, I’d suggest that you drop everything and study the Official Girl Scout Cookie Forms Packet. You need to know this information backwards and forwards, and be able to recall arcane scouting oaths and cookie pricing structures at a moment’s notice. There is not a moment to lose. Good luck, and if I can continue to encourage you in any way, let me know.

  3. bethkoruna said

    Karen — Sadly, no I wasn’t high. Just one drink? For two months of my life?

    Andy — Bad, bad news my friend. There are no Golden Yangles. Nothing of any lemon variety at all, but there are nonfat chocolate cookies. I hornswoggled myself into this, which is what’s truly amazing. Thanks for filling me in on the darker side of Council. It’s what I suspected all along!

  4. bethkoruna said

    Oh, Andy — now that you’ve told me this, do you have to kill me?

  5. kjames said

    oh fine, i’ll buy you two. after that, you’re buying your own and i’m driving you home. πŸ˜€

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